today I am thankful for
sunshine
the perfect latte
therapy
true friends
sunshine
the snooze button
and
God's forever grace for me
sunshine
the perfect latte
therapy
true friends
sunshine
the snooze button
and
God's forever grace for me
tomorrow I am going on a journey to Canada. a free trip given as a birthday treat. a group of us are going to a conference, the subject, intimacy with God. The speakers are Heidi Baker and Graham Cooke. Jason Upton will be leading the music portion, I am so excited about that. I have been listening to his music for the past two years now. For those who are not familiar with his ministry, check out:
www.jasonupton.com
Graham Cooke recently spoke at a conference here in Seattle, but at the time I was not interested in going to anything remotely attached to the Charismatic movement. Some friends did go and were profoundly impacted by Graham's relationship and approach to God. It caused a desire in me to hear for myself what Graham had to say. Heidi Baker is someone I have heard of for the past few years, but again I did not want to go to yet another church meeting that seemed to focus more on emotionalism than true authentic desire for God. I know that is my own take on it and plenty have been blessed by the charismatic approach to God. I have just seen enough of what I consider to be more human than spirit. Anyway, Heidi's life is an example of what I have longed for since I was little and so it is time to see and hear for myself what she has to say, instead of judging how it is said. She and her husband have an orphanage that has taken in literally hundreds of orphans from the streets and trash heaps of Africa. I don't know much beyond that, but expect to learn more through this conference.
When I was around fourteen years old, I remember sitting in my bedroom watching a news report on the famine in Ethopia. As I watched the children with distended bellies and flies crawling over their mouths and eyes, I mourned, wailed and pointed at the tv saying out loud, "that is what I want to do with my life, I want to help those who can not help themselves". This was my pre-christian wail to God, just as Isaiah did in his day when he shouted, "here am I Lord, send me". Since that day, I have tried to make that dream happen. Each time I "work" for it, I find it so far away that I can not grasp even the vision of it. Then when I surrender and live in the moment, God some how brings it back into view and at times, "sends me". This struggle is always with me, whether dormant or not, it is always always always with me. In my early twenties, I was walking the cliff's of Santa Cruz's ocean shore and cried out to God to send me, wandering if it was even His desire to do so. Then, very deep within I heard, "read Luke 10". I was still very new in my walk with God and was unsure of what I heard and even where Luke was in the bible. So, I sat under a tall tree and read. It started out saying that Jesus was going to send His disciples, two by two to every city He was planning on going to. They were not to bring anything with them. They returned to Him later and rejoiced over the miracles performed through them. Jesus told them that they were not to be puffed up by the power but just to do what He says. I can't remember the rest. Later, when I moved to Seattle to attend Seattle Pacific University, I remember sitting in the small brick and stained glass chapel on campus, crying out again for His encouraging word for my life. He led me to Jeremiah 1. I again had no idea what that meant. I had been telling Him that I didn't feel able to do anything, that I was not smart enough, talented enough or brave enough to do "great" things for Him. I then read Jeremiah 1 in a huge, colorful bible...it stated that Jeremiah was not to worry about what to say, that although he felt simple and unable to do God's will, all God required of him was to be willing to open his mouth and God would do what Jeremiah was not able to do on his own. As I write this, I realize that I haven't read those texts in a long time and that they have been given to me as promises to hold on to. Maybe it is time to go back to those altar's of hope and believe they are real and that they are mine.
Well, I gotta run...it costs 5 cents per minute and I just reached the half-hour mark.
bless all those reading this and I hope it inspires you to pursue God for His encouraging word for you.
Shalom
www.jasonupton.com
Graham Cooke recently spoke at a conference here in Seattle, but at the time I was not interested in going to anything remotely attached to the Charismatic movement. Some friends did go and were profoundly impacted by Graham's relationship and approach to God. It caused a desire in me to hear for myself what Graham had to say. Heidi Baker is someone I have heard of for the past few years, but again I did not want to go to yet another church meeting that seemed to focus more on emotionalism than true authentic desire for God. I know that is my own take on it and plenty have been blessed by the charismatic approach to God. I have just seen enough of what I consider to be more human than spirit. Anyway, Heidi's life is an example of what I have longed for since I was little and so it is time to see and hear for myself what she has to say, instead of judging how it is said. She and her husband have an orphanage that has taken in literally hundreds of orphans from the streets and trash heaps of Africa. I don't know much beyond that, but expect to learn more through this conference.
When I was around fourteen years old, I remember sitting in my bedroom watching a news report on the famine in Ethopia. As I watched the children with distended bellies and flies crawling over their mouths and eyes, I mourned, wailed and pointed at the tv saying out loud, "that is what I want to do with my life, I want to help those who can not help themselves". This was my pre-christian wail to God, just as Isaiah did in his day when he shouted, "here am I Lord, send me". Since that day, I have tried to make that dream happen. Each time I "work" for it, I find it so far away that I can not grasp even the vision of it. Then when I surrender and live in the moment, God some how brings it back into view and at times, "sends me". This struggle is always with me, whether dormant or not, it is always always always with me. In my early twenties, I was walking the cliff's of Santa Cruz's ocean shore and cried out to God to send me, wandering if it was even His desire to do so. Then, very deep within I heard, "read Luke 10". I was still very new in my walk with God and was unsure of what I heard and even where Luke was in the bible. So, I sat under a tall tree and read. It started out saying that Jesus was going to send His disciples, two by two to every city He was planning on going to. They were not to bring anything with them. They returned to Him later and rejoiced over the miracles performed through them. Jesus told them that they were not to be puffed up by the power but just to do what He says. I can't remember the rest. Later, when I moved to Seattle to attend Seattle Pacific University, I remember sitting in the small brick and stained glass chapel on campus, crying out again for His encouraging word for my life. He led me to Jeremiah 1. I again had no idea what that meant. I had been telling Him that I didn't feel able to do anything, that I was not smart enough, talented enough or brave enough to do "great" things for Him. I then read Jeremiah 1 in a huge, colorful bible...it stated that Jeremiah was not to worry about what to say, that although he felt simple and unable to do God's will, all God required of him was to be willing to open his mouth and God would do what Jeremiah was not able to do on his own. As I write this, I realize that I haven't read those texts in a long time and that they have been given to me as promises to hold on to. Maybe it is time to go back to those altar's of hope and believe they are real and that they are mine.
Well, I gotta run...it costs 5 cents per minute and I just reached the half-hour mark.
bless all those reading this and I hope it inspires you to pursue God for His encouraging word for you.
Shalom
1 comment:
indiarubyflowercelestialfriend. hee hee. guess who? thanks for sharing your blahhhg with the world. so this is where you have been! this kind of conference is what makes you you. i hope a plant inside you grows very tall and the fruit from it spreads out through your fingertips for other bloggers to see the world of Jesus through you. all of creation is waiting for Him in you and He love everything that He makes.
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